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M_Melody
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read my profile
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Gender: Female
Interests: Web Design and Graphic design.. PARTYING up a STORM and ReADING .. RELAXING when i have the time
Expertise: Now do you all really need to know what I'm good at ? Lemme keep you guessing
Occupation: Student
Industry: Media
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
3/19/2003
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| Ok , hello folks im back on my random blog on xanga...
Alot of things has happend since the last i've blogged ...
Right now I have a really horrible cold thats kicked my ass for the past 3 days. It has made me sooooOOOO lethargic that it makes me sleep all day and keeps me up at night .. NOT FUN .. right now my head feels like 10x its actually size . but im wide awake since i slept the day and like i said it keeps me up at night
Lets see where to begin...
I suppose for all of you who fallow my drama with Jess, this maybe the last of it . Im SoOo tired of alot stuff . I need to be doing for my self now ...
In the recent months we have grown apart . I dont talk to her much , and i almost hardly see her these days .
Actually sometime in the end of July and sometime in the begining of Augs , it took its toll on me , I tried to end our friendship .. NOTICE THE WORD TRY ..
the first time i could find the words to tell her why i wanted to not be friends .. It was rough i asked her to say goodbye to me. Didnt work ... We didnt talk for a couple of hours ..
The next week i tried again , and i explained to her .. That lasted about a day, i really did try my best .. and it hurt alot .. But i got so very angry .. And for those of you who know me well I AM NOT AN ANGRY PERSON.
I said hurtful things to which i know i will regret . But i just wanted to push her away more so than ever.
She is not a bad person , she maybe confused and i just, I cant .. needless to say i was tired...
Well im gonna go to bed imma feelin a bit dizzy .. and i have to HAVE TO GET TO WORK TOMORROW i called out twice already this week.. But i still havnet gotten any better .. The medicines arent working At all
later everyone | | |
| In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people.
Ones with whom you shared something special,
ones who will always mean something.
There's the one you first kissed,
the one you first loved,
the one you lost your virginity to,
the one you put on a pedestal,
the one you're with,
and the one that got away.
Who is the one that got away?
I guess it's that person with who everything was great,
everything was perfect,
but the timing was just wrong.
There was no fault in the person,
there was no flaw in the chemistry,
but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.
I believe in the fact that ending up with someone,
finding a longtime partner that is,
does not lie merely in the other person.
I can actually argue that an equal part,
or maybe even the greater part,
has to do with the matter of timing.
It has to do with you being ready to settle down
and commit to someone in a way
that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.
How often have you gone through it without even realizing it?
When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner,
it doesn't matter who you're with,
it just doesn't work.
Small problems become big;
inconsequential become deal breakers simply because
you're not ready and it shows.
It's not that you and the person you're with are no good;
it's just that it's not yet right,
and little things become the flash point of that fact.
Then one day you're ready.
You really are.
And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone.
He or she may not be the most perfect,
they might not be the brightest star of
romance to ever have burned in your life,
but it'll work because you're ready.
It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work.
And it'll make sense, it really will.
So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things,
and you find yourself to be a different person.
Things are different, your approach is different,
you finally understand who you are and what you want
and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived.
And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come.
Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship,
you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter.
All you know is that you've changed,
and for some reason,
the one that got away is the first person you think about.
You'll think about them because you'll wonder,
"What if they were here today?"
You'll wonder,
"What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?"
That's what the one that got away is.
The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.
If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away,
got away.
Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is,
this can happen to the best of us.
But hopefully you're mature enough to realize
that you're already with the one you're with
and this is just another test of your commitment,
one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it.
Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright.
It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.
Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married.
In which case it's the same thing.
You just have to accept and know
that your memories of that person
will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future
when you're old and gray and reminiscing.
But if neither of that is the case, then it's different.
What do you do if it's not yet too late?
Simple.. find him, find her.
Because the very existence of a "one that got away"
means that you'll always wonder,
what if you got that one.
Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a movie,
it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere.
You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away"
to the person who "got away" from you.
You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference.
If the timing is finally right,
it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know,
I'm thinking,
it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone,
"Hey you, you're the one that almost got away." | | |
| So here , i am again .... Does the drama ever end with me ... NOPE hahah , but since im bored and my stomach hurts like hell , and on top of that im all sickly...
Yea, ive been sick for like the whole week , no didnt get it from Jess, even though she has bronchitsis , and sharing that drink wasnt the smartest thing too do .. I'm sick of a different reason ...
I know ive been negelecting alot of people this past year , its just i get too caught up in a person sometimes , i that i forget .. Also ...I've been enjoying some time to my self .. i must say personal time and space is always good.
I've even started to re work my resume , and workin on my portfolio, ponder thoughts of going back to school ....
that's really it i think im gonna go to bed , im feeling sick ... and my stomach hurts and lookin the screen is makin me naucious like it did on WEDS BLEHHHHHHHHH
Todays Sin: Anger ... | | |
| Why is it she's like an addiction , i can't kick ? I wanna breathe every essence of her and just get a high off her ... I cant stand it , when i dont see her during the day , i feel like im going through withdrawl , a hello , a simple see ya later , makes me float when it comes from her ...
She's the bad habit i wanna kick but i cant get rid of. Just when i think , im over it , i relaspe into her when she smiles, at me , I relaspe when she says my name .I fall into her head first , spiraling down knowing i wont be able to get out of it...
I know the consequence and the pain im gonna feel when this is all done . Knowing the possiblities, but the what if's keep on taking over.....
"Strange Love , Strange Highs and Strang Low's"~ Depeche Mode | | |
| So ok , the life of an insomniac , absolutely sucks .. here i am Blogging my little heart away, I just wanted to thank Sunny Groov and David Z for ghost writing for me .. Goodlookin out guys .. i totally appreaciate it. But to no avail , the point of the away message my profile was not taken .. i dont even know if it was read.
So ok , i was cleaning , yes the world has gone off its axis... LOL .. and i found the box , yes the box where i put all the stuff i had from Dk in it , like mad old emails .and letters. I completely forgot i had it , i thought i threw it out . it was in the back of my closet behind a bunch of encyclopedias. Low and behold the BOX lol .. i went through them and i was cracking up .. i read old school emails from Dk and Jolene * for those of you who know them * lol .. i loved reading the emails from Jolene haha it was mad funny and these date back alllllllllll the way back to march of 1999.. Im tellin ya'll there was one from FIND in Harvard , im sure some of you remeber that one hahaha ..
I think i need to make major changes in my life .. i just dont know how too .. I am getting way tooo spoiled by Jess, I am gettin to used to her and thats really not a good thing for me . I have to get on the ball of doing stuff on my own again and not rely on her . After all i did well before i met her , why should that change right ? Exactly ... aitez i thinkin im peacing out poppin in a DVD ... or maybe read , im gonna opt for the reading i suppose..
By the way i think David Z and SunnyGroov inspired me to write hahahahah | | |
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